What is giftedness?

 by Stephanie Newitt               

                I wish to introduce you to one of my favorite authors – Dr. James R. Delisle, Ph.D. (pronounced (/deh-LYLE/).  When, many years ago, my concerns over my gifted and highly gifted children drove me to the brink – the educational isle of my local bookstore – I felt drawn to his book, Parenting Gifted Kids.  It isn’t a book filled with lists of things to do or strategies to try; rather, it is filled with perspective and insight and it raised me from the brick wall against which I was pounding my head, such that I could begin to view the clear blue sky.  Upon reading it, I literally felt my soul and heart peacefully expand.  I could breath.  I could laugh.  I better understood my children, myself and the gifted family we are.  I was home.

                What does it mean to be gifted?  The state mandates will say something about gifted children being in the 97^th percentile or above on accepted tests, but what does that mean to a family?  Annemarie Roeper, a forerunner in gifted education, is quoted by Dr. Delisle, “Giftedness is a greater awareness, a greater sensitivity, and a greater ability to understand and transform perceptions into intellectual and emotional experiences” (2006, p. 6).  Dr. Delisle goes on to say, “Gifted people come to our attention first and foremost because of the sophisticated ways they perceive the world around them … It is their overall awareness of and sensitivity to the people and surroundings that inhabit their lives that distinguish them from their age peers.” (2006, p. 6).  As I have heard my children making their “out-of-the-box” comments, sharing odd-angled observations, highly sensitive reactions, or seen them cracking their witty jokes with each other, I find myself with a peaceful smile. “This is part of the world of giftedness,” I tell myself.  “I get it.  I love it.  It is mine to enjoy.  I will not pound my square-pegged children into the round holes society would carve out for them.  My children are not typical children and that is O.K.” 

                My children have commented, “I feel like an alien at school.”  They have asked, “Am I normal?”  I tell my children that they are not typical and that being gifted means that their thinking process approaches life from uncommon angles.  This atypical approach to processing life’s experiences impacts not only intellectual development, but social and emotional development as well.  We talk about what their hopes and dreams are and what they think it will take to develop their gifts into talents.  We talk about the few special teachers that have truly understood them, even inspired them – feeding their passion for learning.  We talk about our supportive extended family members.  We are truly grateful for these individuals as they add sanity and understanding to our lives.  

                It is intense, hard work raising gifted kids.  It is not easy, but seeing the results of them discovering and finding their path in life is worth it.  It has been said that it takes a village to raise a child.  When raising a gifted child, or highly gifted child, this saying is also true, but it is often hard to identify the members of the village who are supportive since those special teachers and school administrators who truly understand the gifted are few and far between.  Frequently for families it feels like a lonely road.  Wherever my children's paths take them, I want them to believe in themselves, to believe that they can fly high and touch their dreams, even if their path feels lonely at times, even if their angle of approach is atypical in society’s view.