Ten reasons why your gifted child
procrastinates
Procrastination:
that vexing time thief so many gifted children face. You watch as your bright,
curious child, passionately engaged in so many interests, comes to a screeching
halt when a project is due. You coax, cajole, demand, bribe, threaten, and
stand on your head, yet nothing will budge. What gives?
While most people
procrastinate from time to time, some develop a chronic pattern fraught with
avoidance, disorganization and frantic efforts as deadlines loom. Before you
nag your child one more time, rush out and buy yet another self-help book, or
hit your head against the wall, you may first want to sort out the reasons
for the procrastination. Usually
there are one or more contributing factors, and if you sort these out, you may
be better prepared to tackle the problem.
Here are some
possible reasons for procrastination:
1.
Distractibility - Some gifted children are
so immersed in their interests that they have difficulty focusing on the task
at hand. They become easily distracted by more engaging ideas or projects.
Overscheduling can exacerbate this problem; however, distractions can arise
even without competing demands once the child's passions and interests take
hold.
2.
Disorganization - Gifted children can
struggle with poor organizational and planning abilities and can lack time
management skills. Despite motivation to complete a project, they may become
overwhelmed when it involves more attention to details or long-range planning
than usual. Difficulty managing their time and structuring how they will work
is frequently the root of this problem.
3. Apathy - Sometimes gifted children have become so bored and disgusted
with school that they lose interest and don’t really care about the quality of
their work. They delay completing assignments because the work seems meaningless.
They would rather engage in a multitude of other activities than “waste” their
time on rote paperwork or assignments that seem too easy.
4. Past
success - Some gifted children procrastinate because they can get away with it.
Many have learned that completing assignments at the last minute does not
diminish the quality of their work or harm the outcome. They know they can do
better, but with a track record of excellent grades behind them, they realize
they don’t have to work very hard to just slide by.
5. Rebellion
- Procrastination can be an expression of resistance or quiet
rebellion against completing an assignment a child resents. It is a means of
devaluing the project, minimizing its importance, and expressing anger about
having to work on something unappealing. Even if the project is eventually
completed, delaying it until the last minute is a form of silent protest that
may feel empowering to the child.
6.
Perfectionism - High expectations of achieving
success can create anxiety and a desire to delay that which is distressing. When gifted
children worry that they might not excel on a given task, they may put it off
until the last possible minute. Clearly, this can be a recipe for increased
anxiety and inevitable 11:00 PM melt-downs.
7.
Self-sabotage - Some gifted children (and
gifted adolescents in
particular) try to hide their abilities from others. In an attempt to blend
in, they may disguise their talents, perform poorly, and disengage
from academics. Procrastination may reflect their ambivalence about confronting
this dilemma and uncertainty about whether to minimize their abilities or live
up to their potential. And if the quality of their work suffers, then they can
perpetuate the image they want to convey.
8. Insecurity
- Despite their apparent skills, some gifted children doubt
their abilities. They may feel like "imposters" and worry that their
inadequacies will be "discovered" at any time. They believe that they
have an image to uphold and if they fail in some manner, they will be outed as
a fraud. Delaying completion of a project is a means of avoiding the inevitable
anxiety that arises when they confront this fear.
9. Shame - Along with insecurity, some gifted children experience
feelings of shame if they fail to excel. They react as if this is an indictment
against their intelligence and suspect that others will view them as
inadequate. As a result, procrastination can be an excuse; if a less than perfect
grade is attributed to a rushed, last-minute effort, then the child can believe
that actual ability was never to blame.
10. Depression - Occasionally, procrastination may be a symptom of
depression. However, it usually coincides with other signs, such as withdrawal
and isolation from peers, apparent sadness, changes in eating and sleeping
patterns, and irritability. In these situations, procrastination may be a
reflection of feelings of hopelessness and a perception that school work lacks
any meaning.
Sorting out the
cause of your child's procrastination is the first step toward working on the
problem. A one-size-fits-all approach based on the latest self-help ideas
may not work for your child's specific situation. Clearly, a child whose procrastination
is the result of perfectionism and shame will need a different approach than
one whose primary concern is apathy.
Gather information, speak with your child, listen to what your child thinks. Make a decision about whether the problem is behavioral (habits, distractibility, time management), school based (boredom, apathy), and/or the result of anxiety or depression. Determine whether intervention needs to occur at home, school, or both, and whether a counselor, school psychologist, or therapist would help to address the problem.
Gather information, speak with your child, listen to what your child thinks. Make a decision about whether the problem is behavioral (habits, distractibility, time management), school based (boredom, apathy), and/or the result of anxiety or depression. Determine whether intervention needs to occur at home, school, or both, and whether a counselor, school psychologist, or therapist would help to address the problem.
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